Anger is a basic emotion which everyone feels sometimes, but the way people deal with anger can be a problem.

Anger isn't always a 'bad' emotion; it can even be useful. Feeling angry about something can help us recognise problems or things that are hurting us. However, anger can be a problem if it is hurting you or those around you. It can cause you to form destructive patterns and can have a negative impact on your mental and physical health.

There are skills, strategies and ways of dealing with your anger. Here are some you might find useful:

Think…

When you’re angry it can be so easy to say something you’ll regret, so take your time and think before you express your thoughts. Give others the same chance to do this. It will give you all an opportunity to assess why you are angry.

Take a break…

Be kind to yourself. Take some time to go for a walk or do something different at times of stress. It needn’t be a long break, but give yourself enough time to prepare for what’s ahead without getting angry.

Laugh…

Humour is a great diffuser of tension and stress. Next time you get angry, stop and ask yourself, “What's funny about this situation?” Chances are you'll find some humour if you just look for it. Try to avoid inappropriate humour, like sarcasm, though.

Relax…

There are many breathing techniques that can help you to relax. Imagine something you find calming or listen to a calming piece of music. You could also learn some Mindfulness techniques.

Express…

It is not healthy to keep what you are feeling bottled up. Once you are thinking clearly and are calm express your frustration. Be assertive, but also non-confrontational. Be clear and be direct, but avoid the blame game and try not to hurt other people’s feelings. It may also be a good idea to suggest constructive ways in which the situation could be avoided in future.

Avoid the blame game…

Blame helps no one. It simply increases the tension in a situation. You can avoid this by beginning your statement with “I”. For instance “I am upset you didn’t put the bins out this morning” is better than “You always forget to put the bins out”.

Let go…

Anger and negativity can very easily overwhelm your positive feelings. To forgive is important. It is a great way to learn from a situation and move on.

Explore…

Anger can often be used to cover up other feelings. In order to express your anger in appropriate ways, you need to be in touch with what you are really feeling. Is your anger masking other feelings such as embarrassment, insecurity, hurt, shame, or vulnerability?

Learn more…

Anger is a challenge for everyone at times. But if you feel that your anger is out of control Ponthafren Association offers many different Life Skills courses which include Anger Management. You can make a referral using our secure online referral form today.

Need help? If this blog has affected you in any way please call us on 01686 621586.
Ponthafren Association is a Mental Health Charity in Mid Wales. Please email [email protected]